I was watching a TV sitcom called ‘Frasier’. I use to watch it years ago in my younger days. I decided to start it from the first one. It was about how his dad fell in the bathroom again and no one was there to help him. So, his two boys Frasier and Niles decided that dad was not able to live alone. The looked through brochures of nursing homes, but decided that he was too young for that. The hard question was, where was dad going to live or with whom. It was decided that Frasier would take him in. Niles was married at the time and dad didn’t get alone with Marist.
This in a way hit home, to where I am at in my life at this time. My son needs help with his children and he is moving in with us. I got hooked.
It goes on with dad bringing in his favorite chair. A little back ground on these two. Frasier has a doctorate in psychology, and dad has been a cop for 30 years, until the bullet hit him in the hip leaving him crippled.
Frasier has a beautiful home, expensive. Dad brought them up on policemen’s salary. There worlds are totally different. When dad brought in his chair that was actually mended with duct tape, this drives Frasier crazy.
So, the first thought I had was we have to be very tolerant of others as we grow old gracefully. We need to try and not be so blinded by what we want, but be happy for what we have. Frasier had to give in, in order to have his dad be happy to live with him, and accept that old taped up chair amongst his beautiful furniture.
The second show, Frasier got up in the morning, to find the new nurse aid they hired to help take care of dad, in the house. He forgot that he had to give up his study and make her a room to live in. The place where he likes to read and be alone with his thoughts. Now it belonged to the nurse aid. He forgot that the old taped chair was in the living room. He imagined he dreamed this.
Here at my house, we took my office, where I would sit and write books, which was a loft, and put-up walls so that the kids could have a playroom. My bedroom now looks like a dorm.
It was when he noticed his routine was changed that made him blow up and see reality as it really is. People were in his house making breakfast. His news paper was already read before he even woke up.
He did let them know that he needs his routine, wake up in the morning, coffee and yogurt for breakfast. His paper by the front door with the rubber band still on it. This is how he enjoys starting his day.
They let him know that he will get use to the change. That this is a change for all of them, not just him, and it may take a couple of years but they will all be better for it.
So maybe getting old gracefully is not wanting or looking for a special way to imagine how you want your life, but to appreciate what you already have.
I am the Author
a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and still believe in the power of love &