Pg 10 - My Story

I hope everyone is having a great week so far. The weather here in Phoenix is wonderful. This is what we look forward to each year since our summers are so hot. So while you are cooped up in the snow I am taking the grandkids for walks, to the park or feeding the ducks in this beautiful weather. Well on with my story. 

Going back a little before my last child was born, December 1986, at just 29 yrs of age my sister Jeannie was taken home to see the Lord. The cancer finally won. I remember I flew home and she was in the bedroom, of her house, with the Hospice Nurses at her side. By the way I can't say enough about anyone who works for Hospice. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO.  She had IV's on her and oxygen on her. My parents and all my siblings were around her. She also had a two year old son who was running around.  She was very weak, and it was so hard for her to concentrate on all of us. We talked to her, trying to comfort her, and told her, we understood that she didn't need to be in any more pain. She kept looking up at the corner of the room towards the ceiling. We told her that if she saw the light to follow it and we would look after her son. We prayed with her, and tried encouraging her and soon she left us as we all sat around her on her bed.  Her son Josh was brought up by my sister Patti and is now married with a daughter.

When Gina was born my father in law came down right away to lend a hand.  Plus I had all kinds of visitors like my parents, Patti and her three children plus Josh, I lost the homesick feeling again. The kids were busy with school projects. Jennifer and Erik played in the school play with Jennifer being Cinderella and Erik one of the seven dwarfs. Jimmy was now taking turns with the kids and going fishing in the boat he bought. Plus I decided to take a photography course, my one true love and hobby. 

We got the chance to fly back home in September 1987, just in time for the annual Gaeta Family picnic and get reunited with family, plus show off the latest to our family. We drove to Wisconsin to see my mom's brothers and sisters and of course my grandpa and grandma Ricci. 

When I grew up, I spent a lot of summers on my grandparent's farm, milking the cows and feeding the chickens.  Unfortunately my grandparents got old and had to sell the farm, but they fixed up the old school house, and made it a home. It was just across from their farm, which was a  perfect opportunity for my kids to still see what a farm was like. They got to pet the cows, and try to milk them, plus see horses and chickens up front.

Before going back to Oklahoma, I had to spend a day at the Lincoln Park Zoo with my baby sister Beverly and her kids. I just love Chicago and always will.  All in all, the visit was a success as we got to see relatives that we hadn't seen in a long time and reconnect.  Going back home to Oklahoma, we were back in our routine, dressing up for Halloween, Christmas with the Riners, making snowmen, birthday parties and coloring Easter eggs.  It was just before Easter when I found out I was pregnant again. I was the happiest girl in the world. My motto was I would take as many babies as  God would give me. I thought that was my mission in life, to take care of my husband, and my children and nothing else mattered. I kept the kids busy with Kristina in gymnastics, Jennifer and Erik in soccer, and even let Jessica go to a mother's day out program so she could have some other friends.

I was busy that year taking pictures of my kids and entering the pics  in the KINSA photography contest. This was fun as I placed one week with a picture as a second place winner, than another week placed as a second place winner, the following week a third place winner  and when the contest was over I placed  a photograph as The Duncan Banner's Amateur Snapshot contest the overall Grand Prize which the judges agreed my silhouette was "dramatically striking."   You talk about being on cloud nine as my excitement grew.  The summer was fun with flying kites and playing with the kids in the back yard pool, going to carnivals, more birthday parties and of course my favorite when we would go visit Mt Scott and climb in the rocks.

I was 34  yrs old when I lost the little boy I was carrying. It was August 26, 1988. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I knew something was different from the start of the pregnancy. This one I actually felt sick and nauseated sometimes and I was never sick with the other five. This child also didn't move around to much. In fact from the first time they tried to hear a heart beat they would have trouble, but eventually they could find it.  I had my appointment and they had the usual trouble trying to hear the heart beat. So they decided that they would use the ultra sound to hear it. I have seen the ultra sound before with my son, and my last two  daughters, so when the screen came up and I saw the back bone I searched for the beating heart and there wasn't  one. The doctor would push down on my stomach and the baby would just go  with the movement.  I tried hard not to cry in front of the doctor.  He said I would have to carry this dead child until my body decided to abort it. So the next couple of weeks all I could do was cry when someone at a grocery store would ask me, "When is your baby due?"  My son had already told me he was having a baby brother and I can't figure out how he knew.  Finally the doctor had me come in so they could induce my labor. It was such a strange feeling to go into birthing room to have this dead baby. Finally I felt the baby coming and quickly they left the room with the child. After making sure I was all right, they brought in the child wrapped in blue and opened his legs for me to see his little penis. His head was smashed inward, I guess because I carried him so long dead, but he had all his fingers and toes. That was the last time I saw him.  It was one of the worse days of my life to leave the hospital without a baby.

Have you ever felt like you were being punished by God. That is the way I felt. I  couldn't understand why he gave this child to me, just to snatch it back again. I started to get depressed. Jimmy was getting upset with me for crying all the time. He decided that this was a gift to him, and he proceeded to go and get himself fixed.  At that time both the wife and the husband had to sign the paper for this procedure. Simple right, I just won't sign it.  The doctor was waiting for us, and proceeded to tell me that I have over populated the world enough, and I was being selfish if I continued to have any more children. I signed the paper and then next couple of weeks just cried. Not only did I lose my last baby, but I was never ever going to have a chance to have another one again. Jimmy didn't want to see me cry anymore. I was told to get over it. So I waited till the wee hours when everyone was sleeping, and would slip into the living room, grab a pillow and cry. I cried and talked to God asking why. I didn't feel any comfort.

Life goes on and I had children to take care of and a house to clean. I got more involved with the school my kids were in and found myself as the PTA president for Kuntz Elementary School.  I launched a Welcome Wagon for the new comers of the school  in hopes to win their support.  .

My Jennifer was the first girl to play on the football team in the fourth grade that September. My son Erik was on it also, but the guys on the team gave Jennifer a hard time and she had to prove herself.

Things went back to normal with Halloween and trick or treating, Thanksgiving with the Riners and of course my father in law was down.  The Christmas play at school and grandma Fostino came to watch her grandkids perform. 

In January of 1989 it snowed so much the kids made three snowmen in the front yard and Jimmy lost his job. He sent out resumes all over looking for a job. None was to be found. I was still busy with the PTA and with our fund raisers we got enough money for a new play ground for the school. Finally in April he found a job in San Antonio, Texas. He had to be there right away. The idea of losing this house upset the both of us. All the work that Jimmy and his dad put into it, making it our home along  with all the space it had was now going to be given to someone to just take over the payment with no money owed to us. We lost everything.  We packed up the house, left some furniture and belongings behind since we didn't movers this time to move us. 

OK gonna stop for today and will try and continue tomorrow. Have a great day and Thank You for coming by.

The Duncan Banner's Amateur Snapshot contest the overall Grand Prize