Pg 12 - My Story

Good day to all of you who are reading this. Please don't judge Jimmy or I until you have read this whole script from start to finish.  There is plenty to tell about my life, and I must say that I love my husband very much. Love is a choice and hopefully you will understand at the end.

On with the story.   I left Gloria's house, heartbroken, crying as I drove back home. I tried not to wake Jimmy, but when I am anxious about something I have to deal with it right away. To say the least he was angry with me for confronting Gloria. When he went to work, he called me and told me he was not coming home that night. What did I do? The last thing I wanted was for him to leave me.  I begged him to come home and he showed up the next night. Somehow he arranged it to where he was coming home every other night and staying with her every other night. I was sick to my stomach. I only ate one  meal on the days he showed up and did not eat any other time. I just couldn't eat, I was to upset. In a couple of weeks I lost 15 pounds.  My oldest daughter Kristina could see I was upset and I would find her knocking at my door in the middle of the night, as I cried, and she would sleep with me trying to comfort me.

I called my parents, and I called Jimmy's parents to let them know what was going on. Then I called the church I was married in. The first pastor I talked to, told me I should divorce Jimmy that God didn't plan marriages to be like this. DIVORCE the word kept echoing in my head. The one word I really didn't believe in.  So I cleaned out the bank account before I seek out a lawyer. This was one of the scariest things I had ever done. The lawyer told me this was a clean cut case, husband cheating on his wife and I would have custody of our kids. The lawyer made me write out what were mine and Jimmy's so that we could divide up everything. My hand shook as I worked on this small simple task that I didn't believe in. But I also could not keep living like this.

Next I called Jimmy's boss and told him that my husband was having an affair with one of his employees. This did not set to good with Jimmy's boss. The lawyer called me and told me what day he was having the divorce papers brought to Jimmy.  I had a plan.

I took all Jimmy's clothes out of my house and drove to his work and  put them in his car and quickly drove back home. A little while later, Jimmy called me. In one day he got divorce papers, fired from  his job and kicked out of his home. He was devastated. .

My father in law decided to come and get me and the kids and let us live with them. My father in law was a truck driver all his life so it was nothing for him to drive a truck cross country. I called the church I got married in again and this time talked to the pastor who married us. He listened to my story but he wasn't as quick to judge Jimmy like the first pastor was. I told him I was coming back home to Illinois and he asked me to please come and see him. He also told me that I had all the right in the world to divorce Jimmy but before I make anything final to talk to him.

Jimmy was now living with his girlfriend. I was  packing things up to move. My father in law was on his way down to get me and five children. What a mess.

We had a court date, and Jimmy showed up to court as the judge talked to us. It was official now, and I had a year to finalize it. The ball was now in my  court. Jimmy took me for a ride and we talked. He couldn't understand how he got where he was, and I just cried. I made him park the car and looked deep into his eyes. "Do you love me?" was all I asked. He starred at me, and a couple of tears dribbled down his cheeks. "Yes" he said.

My father in law showed up with the truck, along with my sister in law. We packed and loaded the truck except for the beds. That night Jimmy showed up with a rose, woke me up and told me he was sorry and that he wanted to make it right before he left, back to his girlfriend's house. To me that was mixed signals. I wanted to hear him tell me he loved me and was coming back home. He didn't even help  us load the truck. We didn't see him again as we drove off.

My father and mother in law lived in a three bedroom home which now would have eight people living in it.  My mother in law gave us her bedroom which had a bath and we got my father in laws bedroom. My father in law slept on the couch while my mother in  law had the third room.

I made an appointment to see the Pastor who married us, Pastor Clem, I just love that man. He greeted me with a hug, letting me know it was a long time since he saw me. We walked into a little room and let me tell him again my story. He told me that there is nothing in the Bible that says I couldn't divorce that man and that infidelity was not a way to be married before he proceeded to tell me a story.

He told me how busy  he is as a pastor, helping so many people, visiting nursing homes and hospitals, and trying to support the needs of so many. One day when he came home his wife had her bags packed  and told him, she was leaving him. She said that he was to busy helping other people, he forgot her needs and she didn't plan on living this way anymore. Pastor Clem said he cried and they prayed and she decided to give him another chance.  Tears were streaming down Pastor Clems face as he told his story. He looked up at me and said, "You could be a good instrument for God if you could forgive your husband. Just think what an example you would be."  We prayed and I went home more confused than ever. 

I went to see my girlfriend from high school the next day. She commented how skinny I was before the tears started streaming down my face. "You still love him don't you?" She said to me. I shook my head yes.

OK this is all I can write for today. I will not be on here this weekend. I am going to North Carolina to suprise my mom for her birthday. So I will try and get back to my story by Tuesday. Have a great weekend. And thank you for your support. Also a side note, I have my two romance books on NOOK now with B&N besides Amazon Kindle. Please spread the word for me. Word of mouth is more powerful than any other kind of advertising. Thank you!