Pg 13 - My Story

Good Day everyone. I am back from a wonderful weekend. I surprised my mother and showed up to her home on Saturday night so I could spend Sunday with her.  It was her 77th birthday.  We really enjoyed
ourselves with the day starting out with Church, than dinner with my dad, Louise, (mom’s friend) and my nephew Bradley.  Next I made her open her b-day gift from her daughters, which I made her try on before we went to get pedicures done.  Finally we went shopping for some pants and a blouse for her and than a movie at her home with dad. That woman got so many phone calls and cards she had to be in seventh heaven.  It was a great time for the both of us, but now I am back at work. So on with my story

Marie with parents Darlene & John Losacco

 


When Grandpa Joe took us home I tried to make life as normal as possible for my children.  It was at the end of January and I decided to have a birthday party for all the birthdays in January.  Jennifer turned eleven and Jessica turned six and of course my father in law but I didn’t ask him his age. My heart did break some also because it was also Jimmy’s birthday. I got the kids back in to school.  In March we had Regina’s third birthday. We got together with my sister Beverly and her kids and my sister in law Joanne with her child just having the everyday normal life. But life wasn’t normal for me.  

Jimmy had gone on to Georgia and was living with a friend who helped him get a job. I would try to be home in time in the evenings for his phone call.  We needed to talk and there was no such thing as cell phones, so if I missed the phone call l would have to wait another 24 hours to hopefully hear from him again.  There was so much we needed to say and to figure out for our future. Remember what I said, once you have children your life doesn’t belong to you anymore.  We decided that I should come up to see him, so I packed a bag and flew to Georgia.   It was a hard reunion at first. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling.  It didn’t help to hear Gloria’s voice on the phone when he checked his messages. He said he was through with her, but she keeps calling him.   We talked and talked trying to figure out what he/we want. I went home still confused and unsure of what we were doing. 

My mind went on a rampage. I could divorce him. The courts and everyone I know would understand why.  Whenever the word Divorce would enter my head the tears would follow. I had no control and I felt like such a failure.  As I would try to look at the big picture and see my future my imagination would go wild. I would see my children going to his home on weekends with a different lady there all the time or that he would have beer or drugs readily handy for them or there may be inappropriate things on the TV for them to watch. I would see him marry someone whom I really didn’t care for with different values than
mine and she would want them to call her mom. I also envisioned myself with my kids never getting to see them because I would probably have to work three jobs just to keep a roof over their head and food in their stomachs. The idea of not being around my kids while they grow up I could not stomach.  These kids didn’t ask to be born, so why punish them like that. Part of me disliked him so much, but yet part of me was still in love with him. Pastor Clem’s words came to my head; I could be an example for God if I can only learn forgiveness and give a second chance.  I knew I had to make a sacrifice for my kids and trust that  God would take care of my compassion for my husband. 

 So it was decided that Jimmy would come back to live with his parents and his family and we would try to make a go of it again. I will tell you it wasn’t easy. I didn’t want him to touch me or kiss me. I kept seeing Gloria in my head. I had to pray for that image to go away and for God to take over and let me completely forgive. 

We decided that we would get married again. We got a hold of Pastor Clem and on our anniversary day in the church with only me, Jimmy and Pastor Clem we said our vows all over again. I cried so hard that day.  Part of me was so happy and a part of me was so angry. Remember I am human also and I was
still fighting the dislike part of his affair.  We took a weekend honeymoon to Galena, Ill to see Ulysses Grant’s home and did some sightseeing plus went to the dog races. 


Our life was slowly getting back to normal with picnics with the whole family including Jimmy’s parents and some of our friends.  I brought the kids to see the Little Red School House, something that I remembered from my past and we had been gone from Illinois for quite a while.  By June Jessica had graduated kindergarten which was a chore for me to help her get through. It seems that in Texas the kids didn’t have to read to get into first grade but in Illinois they did so I had to help catch Jessica up on her reading skills.  Kristina graduated eight grade that June which I suppose was not easy for her since she didn’t know anyone really in her class. 

I put the kids straight into the sports summer program with Kristina, Jennifer and Erik playing softball. Grandpa Joe had a pool in the back yard so we had many picnics and swim parties until Jimmy finally found a job and we were moving again and this time to Ft Wayne, Indiana. 
 
OK that is enough for today. I thank you all for reading my blog and I hope you have had a chance to read my books. Till tomorrow.