Pg 18 - My Story

Good Monday to you all. If this is the first time you have hit my blog you may want to start at the beginning where it says Pg 1 –My Story and read this little manuscript of mine from the beginning. This is story of life and love and the choices we make.  I have no regrets and through the experiences I have endured I have grown as a person and hopefully a good example for Christ.  You may judge for yourself. I have not made all the best choices but I have learned from my mistakes and I think that is what life is all about, learning from our mistakes and going on.  Now on with my story.

Well this summer we also got a big surprise that was not expected.  Jenny told me she wasn’t feeling good and so Kristina brought her to the doctor. Jenny told me she was pregnant. This was not easy to hear from your sixteen year old daughter.  I was devastated and I acted before I used my brain and slapped her in the face calling her a slut. There are some things you do in life and wish you could take them back, but you can’t. The damage is already done. I apologized and I had to prepare myself for the coming events. My baby was having a baby.  Now that she is pregnant, she was considered an emancipated minor.  She was allowed to make decisions without the influence of a parent. I didn’t let that bother me, because she needed us to help her. So I made up three rules with the pregnancy. Rule one was she was not allowed to have an abortion, because I didn’t believe in killing. Rule two was she had to finish high school because she would have to be able to take care of her family and you can not get a good job without a high school degree. Rule three was she was not allowed to get married just
because of a baby and if they were still in love after high school than we would help with a wedding. 

 We had our doctor’s appointment where the doctor and I had already been on opposite terms. He told her she had one of three decisions to make. She could have the baby and keep it, or have the baby and give it up for adoption or have an abortion.  I argued with the doctor that abortion was not an option and she only had two to make.  This was my first lesson of emancipation as the doctor informed me I have no right to tell her what to do.

School started again, and now Jenny had to face her peers with the knowledge of being pregnant. We talked to the school, and they were so supportive about this. They let us know that we were not alone. Many other girls have gotten into trouble like this and they want these kids to be able to support their children so they had a special program that helped the teenage mother learn about babies and actually take care of babies as a required class. They had a building not too far from the school where these  teen-age mothers dropped off their infants so they could go to their classes. It was required that all the teen-age mothers and teen-age mothers to be had an hour a day to babysit at this building. They actually got hands on with feeding, burping and changing babies. If you read The Silver Locket you will find something in there about this.

I also started school to become an EMT basic. It was exciting and fun to learn how to use a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff.  As we explored the body and how the mechanics of it worked I found that I really enjoyed these   classes. I was busy with work, school, and my family.

Jenny was starting to show and I knew I had to share this pregnancy with the rest of the kids. I think the
hardest one to tell was Regina. I still can see it like it was yesterday. We were sitting on the stairs and I told her I had something to tell her. My eyes got watery and she just waited patiently for me to capture my composure so I could talk to her.  So I started with, “Regina, can you tell Jenny is getting bigger?” She innocently shook her head no.  “Have you looked at her tummy lately?” I continued.  She looked at me strangely, and asked why is she getting fat?  “No honey,” I continued. “Your sister is having a baby.” 
She had the most innocent look on her face as her eyes starred into mine.  “No she isn’t mom. You said we have to get married first, and then God gives us babies.”  The tears streamed down my face as I told her that sometimes you can get pregnant before marriage.

October flew by with a visit from my parents and sharing the secret we had about Jenny’s pregnancy. 
Jenny was settling down more, not going out as much, and still being a kid with getting into costume for Halloween and our Christmas cookie baking and Christmas fun.  

Jennifer decided that she was going to keep her baby (yea) so we made a bedroom for Kristina in the garage. Kristina and Jennifer shared a bedroom and Kristina was now going to college. We have five children and decided from the get go that we would not do for one and not the other. So we made it clear up front that we could not pay for college. Kristina worked at subway full time and went to school full time. Yes we were/ are very proud of her.

Christmas was fun but I knew I was in for another change in our life. We were going to be grandparents. So the picture we took at Christmas I knew would be the last one of this family as I had known it. There
would now be one more member to add.

Back row: Marie-Jimmy-Jennifer-Erik Front row: Kristina-Regina-Jessica Christmas 1995

The New Year started with Jessica’s 12 birthday, Jimmy’s 43 birthday and Jenny’s 17 birthday.

I graduated EMT Basic School at the Moore-Norman Vo-Tech. I also was honored as a student with this written about me.
 
 Marie Fostino has been named Moore-Norman Vo-Tech Center Student of the Month. 
Fostino is a wife of 22 years, a mother of five children ages 8-19 and a full-time cosmetologist.  “My kids
are my world, but they’re getting older and more independent,” she explained. “After my 40th birthday I
started thinking about my life and what I could do to make a difference.”  Tragically, Fostino found her calling on April 19, 1995. “The Oklahoma city bombing horrified me,” she said. Fostino felt helpless until she called a volunteer phone number. “They needed people to clean the courthouse. I wanted to do anything to help, so I took a week off work to clean up the debris. That’s when I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to work I a health field.”  She volunteered at a local hospital and enrolled in the EMT program during the fall semester. Fostino plans to continue through paramedic training.  “Only one other student has come through this class who compared to Marie in terms of drive, determination and positive outlook,” said Bruna Varalli-Claypool, EMT instructor at Moore-Norman.  “She’s one of the most positive individuals I’ve known and a great influence on the other students.”  In addition to her EMT achievements, Fostino is a certified nursing assistant with medication aide technician duties, a free-lance photographer, a soon-to-be grandmother and she continues to work full-time while carrying a
full-time class schedule.  

My EMT Basic Class

I took a fast trip to the State of Washington to see my family in the beginning of February and on February 26 my beautiful granddaugher was born. It was a sight when I brought Jennifer to the hospital.
I think most of her friend’s skipped school that day and I am pretty sure the labor and delivery floor didn’t like us, because there were so many teenagers  in the waiting room, and the hallway, and in her room. 
She was getting an epidural, and I remember before they gave it to her and the pain would start she would grab me and with her fingers digging into my skin leaving marks until the pain went away.  Finally when it was time to push everyone had to leave except for me, Jimmy and the baby’s father with his
mother.  I just cried as I watched the birth of this new addition to our family.  Jimmy took the pictures since Jenny wouldn’t let me leave her side. They don’t let you take pictures like this anymore but I will show you this wonderful one of Adias as her head and shoulder are just coming out into the world. 
Oh yea, my daughter named her  child, Adias, which I had trouble with because of the shoes called Adidas and I would catch myself calling her that  name instead.  This beautiful creature was 7 lbs – 3 oz and 18 & ¾ inches long.

Birth of our first grandchild

Jennifer & her daughter Adias

It was crazy at our house with a new baby. Jenny was trying to nurse and sleep and finish school.  The
school was great coming over to tutor her until the baby was 6 weeks old before she would have to return to  school.  We all had a big part in caring for this baby. Kristina would take her in her room and sing to the baby to get her to sleep.  Erik would take her into his room and play Hazzard by Richard Marx, very loud but would put the baby to sleep.  Jimmy and I would take turns taking Adias to bed with us just enjoying a new baby in the house.  Regina turned 9 when Adias was almost 5 weeks old. It did feel strange having a daughter at the age with a grandbaby.  In April Erik had a date to his semi-formal dance, but on the day of the dance his date decided she didn’t want to go. So Jenny put on one of Kristina’s prom dresses and she went as his date. One thing I can say is that no matter how sometimes they may argue like most siblings do, they always seem to be there for each other. Erik was devastated when his date dropped the ball on him but Jenny picked him up and they had a good time. 

Jenny & Erik for Erik Semi- Formal Dance

That May we helped Jenny get ready for her prom. She looked beautiful. Yes we only gave her so much money and she had to come up with the rest but to my kids this was a normal part of life. We all had to be responsible.

Jenny Prom May 1996

 I started getting some flack from other adults about letting my teen-age mother live at home.  I was told it was tough love to make them leave and try to figure out how to raise their child on their own.  You know the old saying; you made your bed, now lie in it. Some of the people at church frowned upon the school for having the program to keep pregnant girls in school. They said that is why these kids were having sex.  I found it wasn’t easy with our decision to support our child, while she was trying to raise her
baby. We were talked about, and not very nicely. My question to all of them  was this child was only 17 yrs old and not even finished with high school, so how was she suppose to take care of herself yet a baby. A lot asked me why the father wasn’t there, and that was I guess my choice. Just because they had sex I didn’t see the reason to make them do something that may hurt them later on in life. Jimmy and I tried to support Jenny’s decision to keep this baby and help her anyway we could. After all this was also our grandbaby, part of our blood. 

We wanted Jenny to be responsible for her child yet at the same time try to still be a teen-ager. So as she cared for her baby we would let her go out and have fun.  We still did our things like coloring Easter eggs as a family and she stayed involved with us and our love grew for this new member of our family. 

OK that is enough for today. I hope you are enjoying my story. Remember that no matter what you do, you are worth something and a special person in this world.