Pg 26 - My Story

I hope today is finding you well. I am thankful for another gift of life and the chance to help someone with a smile and a touch of my hand to show comfort and compassion.  So on with my story.

As time went on with my part time job at the ambulance company the crews started to act cordial towards me. Seems like they got a good talking to from the boss and they were now polite. Decatur Ambulance had a big EMS picnic and we went as a family. There was a big volley ball tournament goin on and my kids joined in the fun.  I think this broke the ice between me and the other employees.  

Regina graduated eight grade this year leaving me now with two in high school. I was glad to have Adias living with me, because I was not sure I was ready to have all grown kids in the house yet. Jimmy was being moody with one day sweet as pie and another day just angry at the world.

 We were good friends with this one couple at our church since they were new to Decatur also and so we all decided to see the boat races in Decatur.  It was fun sitting on blankets, eating snacks, and watching the boats race. This was a big thing every year in Decatur.  When the races were done they also had a carnival and the kids enjoyed the rides.   

It was summer now and I wasn’t working that many hours at the ambulance company and the bus job was over for the summer so I decided I was going to try and have fun and explore the area. First we went to see Grandpa Joe (my father in law) for father’s day.  My sister in law was telling us that he was starting to get confused, but we didn’t see it on our visit. We checked out the Decatur Fair with more carnival rides and petting zoo. For such a small town, this city is busy with seasonal activities.  Next my plan was go to St Louis.

I talked Jimmy into it and we went to the Anheuser Busch Company in St Louis.  This place was a small city of its own. We got to ride a trolley to the site and see how the beer was made.  We explored the rich architecture and heritage of the oldest and largest Anheuser-Busch Brewery. We followed the path of how they brewed their beer, feel the cold cellars they stored them in and watched the packaging line.  We are not drinkers but this was pretty interesting.  The best treat was to see the Famous Budweiser Clydesdales.  These horses are beautiful. 

Standing: Jessica, Regina, friend, Erik Squatting: Zack, Adias, Marie

 After the tour we found a place to eat and off to the St Louis Gateway Arch.  Have you ever ridden up to the top of this attraction? I have to say I enjoyed riding up the elevators of the John Hancock Building a lot nicer than the rickety seats we had to ride to get to the top of the Arch. The windows at the Hancock building are bigger also, with a lot more room to roam around. But all and all it was  pretty interesting to go to the top of this structure. 

It was the end of July when Kristina came into town to spend some time with us. I am my happiest when I have all my kids around so of course it was a great visit and time. At this time we also got to celebrate Erik’s 21stbirthday. We had his birthday at the Road House Restaurant and when the employees came by to sing happy birthday to him, they made him ride a mechanical bull.  Erik to this day says he was never so embarrassed but I am sure secretly he enjoyed himself that day. Erik also met a girl at work, (Subway Sandwiches) that he was pretty interested in. We teased him about robbing the cradle, because this girl whom is now is wife was still in high school.

Erik, Kristina, Adias, Jennifer, Regina, Jessica, Marie

My job was getting a little better. I was making friends with some of the medics. I also offered to babysit at times when the employees had to work and they could not get their babysitter.  I even watched one of the owner’s kids and one of the supervisor’s kids once in a while. But there was a medic Jennifer whom befriended me and I watched her kids.  My Adias was close to the same age as her oldest so this was not really a chore. Plus she had a baby and I missed having one of those around the house again. 

I can't remember their names but the three kids in the white shirts belong to David Burkum, one of the owners, the boy in the red shirt belongs to Sean McQueen, a supervisor and two of the girls in the plaid dresses belong to Jennifer & Larry, medics who work there, and of course my Adias.

Fall finally came around and kids back into school. I was now getting more hours at Decatur Ambulance so I didn’t go back to the bus company.

I started to work sometimes a 24 hour shift which I was definitely not use to. I found I could not go to sleep sharing rooms with the other medics, especially if they were men and the beds to me where
uncomfortable. Plus after a call my adrenalin was still pumped. It would seem just as I would finally go to sleep another tone would shoot out to us for another call. 

It was that tragic day September 9, 2011 when I was ushered inside from washing my ambulance to watch the TV and see a plane fly into the Twin Towers.  To me this was like the Oklahoma Bombing starting again. Only this time I was millions of miles away with no way to help and of course a thousand times worse. So we helplessly watched what was happening on the TV set with tears running down our cheeks.   On September 23 we held our own memorial for all who lost their lives in New York at this tragic event.

I learned a lot of things about working in an ambulance company. I heard about how these people cheated on their spouses with their working partners or with policemen that were on duty whenever they
got the chance.  One medic told me how she was having an affair with her partner and she said she felt like two different people.  On her shift days she was in love with her partner having sex between calls and when she was at home she was in love with her husband. I of course didn’t understand this or will ever understand why people have affairs. 

One day when I was done with working a twelve hour shift for the night and told my partner goodbye, I gave him a hug. Let me clarify, I do this a lot. I am a hug person.  I guess being Italian, I give hugs hello and hugs good bye to almost everybody.  I even hug my patients so this was something that is part of my normal routine.  Well this medic all of a sudden hugged me real tight putting a hand on my head, so I couldn't move and his mouth over mine.  I have worked with him before, and this wasn't the first time I hugged him good night so I was totally off guard. All I remember was his tongue exploring my mouth and my tongue trying to hide in the back of my throat. You may be laughing but my head was slow as to what was going on and I remember thinking, is he kissing me?  I did not kiss him back and when he was finished he let me know he had a room waiting for us.  I just looked at him funny and told him, I don’t have affairs and walked to my car.

This event continued on and on in my head and I didn’t tell Jimmy; after all he was not really there for me anyway.  He was busy on his computer with his naked ladies.  I am not sure what is worse, an affair with another woman or with porn. My husband was drawn away from me. He didn’t seem interested in me
anymore.  If I came to bed naked and tried to get frisky he would tell me to put on some clothes and go to sleep. 
  
A few days later I was at work alone in the garage working on stocking my ambulance crying.  I was working with a girl medic who noticed my red eyes and with a lot of coaxing from her, I finally told her what happened between me and Eric, the medic who kissed me.  She gave me his number and told me to call him that this was a big misunderstanding. So blindly I did and he was happy to hear from me. When I told him I was uncomfortable with what had happened   his response totally blew me away. He told me that I was beautiful and sexy and he wanted me. He told me that if he ever found me in a room alone his hands would be all over me.  I didn’t know how to respond to this, so I told him I guess I will have to make sure that never happens.

Now the devil works in mysterious ways, and the phone conversation keep rolling in my thoughts over and over again.  At home I had a husband that could care less about me and at work I met a man eight years younger than me that found me desirable. My mind was going back and forth as to what to do.  I decided that I would write him a letter and tell him that he crossed a line that should never have been crossed. That I wanted be his friend, go out with his family and mine and he should never think like that again. This is one of those times I did something I regretted. 

I brought my letter to the station he was working at and as I placed it on his car the garage door opened to the ambulance bay with Eric standing inside. He called to me and I handed him the letter. After he closed the door he put his hands around me and started kissing me again, only this time I kissed him back.  I left the garage with mixed emotions. 

OK enough for today. This is a hard thing to even think about yet to write about.  What has helped Jimmy and me is the power of prayer and forgiveness from our Lord and Savior.  It is important to tell a loved one that you are sorry if you wronged them and it is important to ask God for forgiveness.