Well it seems it is a hard job being a writer. There are so many people that write and so many books to pick from. So the problem is how one person gets their books noticed. Of course if you have a Literary Agent it will be easy. Only the hard thing about that is there are only so many agents and at least ten times the writers. I don’t have an agent so I am totally on my own. I have been busy today going through my pictures and taking pictures for two of my books and you will notice that my book called The Silver Locket and A Struggle of the Heart have new covers from pictures that I have taken. I am hoping this will get some people to notice. Well on with my story.
Even though now I have dad on hospice I have to still try and keep life as normal as possible. Jennifer was back at drill and we gave Adias a fun birthday party with all the games that I like kids to play. I have to admit that I like having a little one around to keep the house alive and this child makes me feel young again.
It was March, Regina’s birthday and we all went to an Italian restaurant to eat and of course we took dad, but it wasn’t the same anymore. Dad is getting a lot worse. He seems more agitated and I now have him on Risperdal to keep him calmed down. He doesn’t want to get dressed anymore or let me shave him or even brush his teeth. It is so hard to see him deteriorate and know that there is nothing I can do to help.
It was in June when we saw the worse with Dad. First his depends were only wet at night. He stopped drinking very much, even his coffee in the morning he may only have a couple of sips. He was
responding less and less, and hospice was there for support as Dad’s body decided to go through the dying stage.
You know, I knew this time was coming, yet I could not prepare myself for the end of his life. I mean I thought I was but yet I found myself crying at work. I remember this one particular instant when we got a call for an unresponsive child. Of course you are prepared for the worse, but when we got to the front door, I heard this child crying. Just as fast tears became slowly to drop down my cheeks. My partner took me by my shoulders and told me to get a hold of myself. He didn’t seem to understand that those tears were tears of joy because we didn’t have an unresponsive child after all. I am sure that if I wasn’t so emotionally involved with what was going on with my father in law, I wouldn’t have let those tears fall so freely.
Well my father in law spiked a fever, quit following commands and quit eating and drinking. Hospice told us it was time for him to go; that his body was speaking and dad was a DNR. So with oxygen on, and with suppositories of Tylenol and morphine, to keep him comfortable we watched him die.
I will never forget, it was June 13, 2004 and we were around his bed as he breathed his last breath.
His body was mottled with colors of pink and blue. His nail beds were blue and his arms were cold. We sat on either side of him, rubbing his arms and telling him that we loved him.
It was hard to see him die yet the memory of my mother in law in the morgue came to my mind. Finally they both were back together. Well I can’t write anymore today. Tell that special someone you love them
right now, because you never know if tomorrow is too late.
I am the Author
a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and still believe in the power of love &