Pg 6 - My Story

Hello again and I hope you are having a fabulous day.  On with my story.

Motherhood is such a change in a woman after giving birth. We are girls with ideals and after we get pregnant we feel the life inside and don't even realize that our way of thinking is changing. After going through the pain of childbirth, and holding that innocent baby in our arms something snaps in our heads. We now develop this care and affection that we never knew we had. We also develope this protective caretaker behavior. We didn't even know we had it in us.

With my first child I enjoyed just taking walks around the neighborhood, holding my darling, and the world looked different. The birds sounded sweeter and the sky was bluer.  I was afraid I would break her if I held her to tight, or she would be so cold if I didn't have her wrapped up in a blanket all the time. I enjoyed showing her everything for the first time, even though she would be to young to know what I was doing. To watch her lift her head, roll over, crawl and take her first steps was probably the most exciting thing I have ever watched.  I didn't mind getting up with her in the middle of the night to nurse her. I would rock her and sing to her and when she would finally fall back to sleep I would try to do the same.

When baby #2 came along I learned how to get creative. It was a challange but I got through it. I learned how to take two children to the zoo, or to the park. My oldest would try to help her younger sister with her first steps.  I decided I like being a mother. I thought that was what God intended me to do with my life. I went back to work part time as a beautician. I got my beautician license when I finished high school. Jimmy would baby sit on the nights I worked. He was not as good playing caretaker as I was. The noise bothered him, and the toys all over the floor. But I thought that all men felt that way after all, my dad brought us up with the phrase "Kids are to be seen and not heard". 

One day at the beauty shop, I felt some pressure and hurried to the bathroom.  As I sat on the pot, I felt something coming out and caught it. To my surprise it was a blood clot the size of a cotex with a clear bubble on it and an embryo inside. The baby was not  fully formed. I could make out the head, with two arms still forming and the rest look like the body of a fish. What to do. I had a customer in the dryer and I was washing another one's hair. I had to be strong. I put the embryo in a container and I finished my two customers like nothing had happened. When they finally left I called my mother and broke down and cried. The idea of losing a baby was devastating.

I told Jimmy and he brought me to the hospital for a D & C. This tragedy didn't seem to bother him like it bothered me. This happened on Oct 18, 1979, and the doctor told us that we could not have sex for at least 6 weeks. You know men, there was no way Jimmy was going to wait that long and I had another baby on July 31, 1980.

Of course he was thrilled, we had a little boy this time, and now my mother in law begged me to have my tubes tied. She said that I was going to make it to hard on her son to take care of so many in his family.

Marie, Erik, Kristina, Jimmy & Jennifer

Life was good, with family picnics on both sides of the family, going to the beach in the summer,  playing in the leaves in the fall, making snowmen in the winter, birthday parties, and of course the holidays with Santa Clause at my in-laws house. Going from my parents home to my in-laws home for the holidays
spending fun family time.  I will say it was not easy taking care of three children, but I loved being a mother, I loved being married and I loved having a family. Jimmy and I were so much in love.

It was so unexpected when Jimmy lost his job. It took some time to find another one. He sent out resumes all over Illinois with no response. So he decided to try and send some out to other states. What a shock to find out that a company in Texas wanted him.  This was hard to even think about. Leaving family seemed so disturbing. But in February 1982 we left a wintery scene for a sunny one in Texas.

Kristina, Jennifer & Erik

Well today on my ambulance we are really busy and I have been trying to get this post done since eight this morning.  I am finally getting this much done by five pm. So good bye for now and will talk to you soon.  Just remember that Family is truly a gift from God and only your perspective and attitude of the world around you will help you appreciate what you have. Your world does not have to resemble the same as everyone else. Remember your cup is half full not half empty.